summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
How external is "for external use only"?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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