Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
