he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
