We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
