woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
