so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
