I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I look better un-naked...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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