My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
