Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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