a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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