sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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