i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
