im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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