Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize