I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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