she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Can I color on your dick again?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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