I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize