he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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