We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
