Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
