Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
