Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
