I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize