i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
