I think I died a long time ago.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
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