Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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