I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
