True but thats because hes a fetus.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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