His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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