Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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