I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize