Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
smell my finger.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
