shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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