she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
