mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
