I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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