everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Say something about gay babies.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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