you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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