i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize