and she was petting her beer can
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
