I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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