Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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