I accidentally burped into my bong.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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