I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
