so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
