i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
