You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
