Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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