Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
this will be a night to untag.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
