If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
