i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
