He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
