3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
If i come over, it means nothing
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
