You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
