i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
