The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
