He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
