I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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